


Enough

by Rinmari



Category: the GazettE
Genre: Denial, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Prostitution, Use of Real Names
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 17:04:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3700193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinmari/pseuds/Rinmari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When all seems to be lost your friends might be the only thing that can save you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough

**Author's Note:**

> Again venting my feelings. And again quite personal fic, hope you like it.

They reached the door of their final member. Yuu started pounding his fist at the wooden surface. “You fucking lying bitch open the fucking door before I break it down!”

Immediately inside was heard a loud crash and clearly a glass was breaking. They waited patiently for couple minutes, but when no-one came to the door Yuu started yelling and banging the door again. After a minute or so Kouyou finally opened the door to his apartment. 

Others looked at the tall man stunned. They knew he was in a bad shape, but the severity of the situation really got them all by surprise. Kouyou was seriously out of it. His ebony hair was sticking because of the filth in it, he had lost ton of weight, eyes were glassed and he swayed desperately trying to stay up. 

“Let us inside you fucking train wreck.”Yuu mumbled and pushed his way inside. 

Once clean and well decorated apartment was only a memory of the slot it used to be. Empty beer bottles all over the place as dirty laundry, dirt and dust had taken over all the surfaces, but those weren’t the worst thing. The most awful was the stink of cigarettes, booze and the most powerful was the reek of drugs. 

“Holy shit, this is way worse than I ever imagined…”Yutaka covered his nose as he walked inside. He had been skeptical when Kazumasa had come to them and told about Kouyou’s state, but all doubt had washed away. 

Akira was the last to enter the ruined apartment and he had to drag his once best friend inside with him, other being reluctant to be in the same space with his band members. 

They all looked around for a while and tried to decide if they dared to sit down anywhere as it seemed that everything was completely dirtied with whatever had been done in there. 

Kouyou in the other hand departed himself from Akira’s grip and collapsed on the couch that had definitely seen better days and was quite frankly ready to be taken to the dump. He swayed for a while until he lifted his head and it was clear he was struggling to make a sentence. 

“Wha- Why are you here? I thought the meeting wasn’t until next week.”

“First of all the meeting was supposed to be yesterday and second, we know everything you’ve been doing for the last six months. We didn’t want it to be true, but Kazumasa told us what happened a week ago.”

Kouyou looked at the blond who tried his hardest to look anywhere than the sitting man. “I had to tell them, it really wasn’t my secret to tell, but I’m worried about you.”

That seemed to get Kouyou’s attention and he narrowed his eyes trying his best to concentrate what was happening around him. “What exactly did you tell my band mates?”

“About last week, when I saw you in the alley with that older man.” Kazumasa finally dared to meet others eyes with certainty. He knew what he saw and what exactly happened between Kouyou and said older man.

“For fucks sake, this is taking too long! We know that you’ve been using drugs for some time and what Kazumasa is trying to say is that he saw you whoring yourself to some creep!” Yuu yelled in frustration. He never had the best temper. 

Others looked at the sitting man waiting for a comeback. Kouyou looked at others for a while and for everyone’s surprise he only shrugged. “What do you mean? I’ve only tried drugs with Akira in high school. And I would never whore myself for anyone and why should I? I get good salary as you all know. Kazumasa must have been imagining things.”

“I know what I saw. And you may not know this, but I was curious and followed you for a while. I saw him give you drugs and then you went to a love hotel.”

“There. Are you ready to confess? We have proof.” Yuu demanded with fire in this eyes. 

“No. I have never sold myself or used drugs in my life.” With that Kouyou fished his cigarettes from the horrible mess from the table, lighting one.

“What the fuck? You just admitted you tried drugs with Akira in school and now you said you’ve never even tried? You really should clear your head and get your lies straight.” Yuu almost screamed in frustration.

“Yuu, calm down, we take it from here. Go smoke a cig or something.” Yutaka suggested and waved to the balcony direction. With an angry growl the other took his advice and stomped his way to the balcony door.

“But you know Kou, he’s right. For a long time you’ve lied to us, to yourself.” Yutaka tried his best to stay calm, he knew it would be no use if they all started yelling.

“No I haven’t.” Kouyou said and sucked his cigarette.

Takanori sighed and rubbed his temple. “Remember the sedatives I had for the anxiety? I know you stole them.”

Something in Kouyou’s eyes told other’s that he had done it. Maybe it was the knowing look in there? Takanori noticed it and continued with more confidence. “We were all, except Kazumasa, hanging at my place about a couple months ago. I told you guys that I had to get sedatives ‘cause I couldn’t calm down. I showed them to you, there was at least couple dozens of pills, I left it on the kitchen counter ‘cause I never thought any of you would take them. Then you went to the toilet for a long time. After that you said you had to go and rushed home. We got suspicious what took you so long in the toilet and believe it or not, we’ve known for a while your liking to prescription drugs, so I checked the pills I got. And guess what? There was only three left. You really thought I wouldn’t notice?”

Akira couldn’t take it any longer, he had to share his part too. “I’ve noticed things too. You never call me anymore unless you want something and I think that goes for all of us. And remember when I told you about the cash hide I have? It wasn’t there after your last random visit. I know you took it.”

“You really think I would steal from my friends?! You really think so little of me? I’m not addicted to pills, drugs, I don’t whore myself and I don’t steal!” Kouyou tried to get up in his rage but fell over knocking down the little table beside the couch. The drawer that was built in the table opened and spilled its fillings all over the floor. A small clear pill bottle filled with all kinds of medication in it and a small bag of white powder. No-one said anything, but they all thought the same, cocaine. 

Everything seemed to stay still for couple minutes until Kouyou started to shake and tried desperately collect the fallen items. Akira groaned and quickly snatched the little bag from the floor. 

“If there wasn’t enough proof before I bet this will be.”

“It… It’s salt. Nothing more, just ordinary salt.” Kouyou stuttered in panic.

“Just stop the lying already, you’ve been caught already!” Yutaka raised his voice in frustration. 

“No! It is salt. I just forgot it there. Just give it to me, I’ll take it to the bedroom cabinet.”

“Bedroom? You really think salt is kept there?” Takanori asked with humorless laugh. 

Yuu joined them finally and glanced the accused ‘salt’ bag. “Shit… You really think you can talk your way out of this. Just admit, you’re addicted to that shit!” 

Kouyou sat on the dirty floor shaking in distress. “Just leave me alone. I need to be alone…”

“No, you need help. The sooner you admit it the sooner you can start healing.” Kazumasa said staring at his boots, not really comfortable being in middle of this. 

“And what is he doing here?! This isn’t his business! I’m not his friend!” Kouyou screamed accusing everyone except himself.

“Kouyou, don’t you see? In this room he’s the closest thing you have a friend. He was the only one that dared to bring your sickening state to the light. We, your band mates and friends have been blindly believed your lies and looking you through rose shades.” Yutaka breathed the words, trying to keep his tears from falling.

“To be honest the only feeling that is keeping me close to you is my rage. I’m so close to not giving a shit what you do that you really should take the help we’re offering now. …or soon we’re not part of your life anymore.” Yuu was clearly trying to keep his temper in bay, he couldn’t even watch the once his closest friends. 

“I! .,. I don’t need any help. Everything is fine, really.” Kouyou stood up slowly from the floor and surprising everyone he wasn’t swaying or shaking one bit. There was feeling of certainty how he held himself. 

Everyone stood still stunned for a while. Others stared in disbelief at the tall man for a moment until Yuu shrugged his shoulders and turned to the front door. “If you really think that then fuck it. See if I care that you die when you’re beaten up or overdosing with that shit you smoke. Fuck it all.”

Kazumasa was quickly to follow quite relieved to be able to leave the situation. Takanori was biting his lip trying not to cry. “I’m so sick of this. You don’t know how long we’ve been guessing what you’re going and are you all right. And now when we’re offering helping hand you just turn us down. I can’t stand this anymore.” With that Takanori turned his back and walked out. Yutaka and Akira were the only one that had stayed. 

“I can’t look at you at the moment, but we’ll talk soon. I just need time to progress all this. I know you’re lying, we all know that, even you. Talk to you soon, don’t do anything stupid. …but I’m not counting on it.” Yutaka rubbed his temple feeling a headache forming. 

Finally Akira was only one with Kouyou. 

“Shima, you know you’re important to me, but there’s a limit how much shit I can take. You used to be my best friend, I could tell you anything. We used to sit and talk for hours, laughing, just enjoying each other’s company. I miss that. But it’s been long time from those times. I beg you, please, take my help.” Blonde hoped being just the two of them and using their old nicknames would reach something deep inside his oldest friend. Just the smallest spark of hope was still living in him. 

Kouyou started shaking again and he fell to his knees. “It’s just salt. Just salt. I need it. I need my time alone. I need time with my salt…”

“See? You’re not even making any sense anymore. You don’t need salt, cocaine, or any of that shit.” Akira kneeled down beside other.

“OKAY! It’s cocaine! You happy?!” Kouyou screamed tears in his eyes.

“I’m not happy that you use coce, but I’m happy that you finally admit it.”

“Aki, I need it. I can’t be without it. I tried to stop, but I need it. The dealer, he doesn’t take my money anymore, he wants me! I don’t want to sell myself, but I need it, I need it, I need it… I NEED IT!” More tears found their way down his cheeks. 

“Shima… Will you let me help you?” Akira tried his best to sound nice and calming. This was progress, he was finally reaching taller. Other seemed to think about it seriously for a while until he lowered his head in defeat.

“I don’t know if I can quit. I don’t want to go through anymore shit.”

“I’m not saying it will be easy ‘cause it won’t. But I’ll be there for you and we all can be happy again. You mean so much to me that I can’t tell it by words alone.” Akira admitted lifting gently Kouyou’s head looking him straight in to the glassed eyes. 

Staring at each other they communicated wordlessly, telling their unsaid feelings. Slowly Akira bend forward and finally captured other’s lips. Kiss was innocent, no tongues, but it was sweet and told its own story of deep care more than best friends should share. Blonde slowly caressed ebony hair as Kouyou grabbed the tank top Akira was wearing as it was his life line. Finally they parted, but both kept their eyes closed. 

“Please, save me. I’ve had enough of all this shit.” Kouyou begged quietly.

“I’ll help you. Now and forever.”


End file.
